Ahhh sigh. October is finally here. I feel like I have been waiting for my most favorite month for so long, as if it were an old friend. I am ready to fully embrace its presence, take it in and hold it. This month is not my favorite for the obvious reasons of my birthday, Columbus day (same day as my birthday) or even Halloween. Don't get me wrong, I love those things too but they are not the feature points in my life. It is my favorite month because I feel like it is the one I can connect with the most. I don't know if you believe in Astrology, but I am a libra and my specific zodiac sign is connected to the moon. I am not sure if the two are connected but for some reason I feel much more safe and secure during the month of October than I do in any other time of year.
For me, October is a very emotional month. My grandparents wedding anniversary is the 2nd, the anniversary of my grandma's death is the 16th and my great uncle died on the first, just 11 days before I was born. While October is full of sadness for my family, it is still the time I look forward to the most. Maybe it is the fact that on Halloween we welcome our loved ones who have passed - or maybe it is a time of cleansing. I think that this is why I have such a strong connection with October.
During this time I, much like the turning trees, have grown yet another year older and must shed the events of the past year. I must carry all my burdens until October, and then, as a birthday gift to myself I let them all change color and blow away in the wind. This sounds so morbid, but it really is a time of self rejuvenation after all the trying times of the past year.
Who really knows why I feel this way about October, all I can do is speculate, but I think that it is possible to have a connection with something so obscure. The moon is full of power and it at its most beautiful during October. Connections?
As this wonderful season passes so quickly I just try and take one day at a time. Let go of one leaf a day and then be ready for what ever new things the coming year has to offer. I know that I will have the guidance of my relatives past and will have the moon as my shining light. With all of these things to guide me, I know that I will make it through this catharsis and feel cleansed in the end. Thank October, for always making me feel better.
trick or treat,
Sarah
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Pssshhh, Relationships...
So, the last time I wrote I told you all about my family. While I covered the pertinent people in my life I "forgot" to mention my "father", if that is what he is... Yes, he was the reason for my creation but I don't know if he was ever much more than that to me. Anyways, enough about that awful mess and on to bigger and much better things.
Have you ever seriously thought about relationships? Not just boyfriend/girlfriend stuff but the relationships you have in general? They are pretty interesting. Friendships are great, you meet a person and then through proper evaluation of common interests mixed with a very basic non verbal personality test you decide that you can either be friends or just acquaintances. So why is it that the relationships we have with our family have to be sooo much more difficult to have/maintain? Why can it be, "I really don't think we have very much in common, and you kinda piss me off. Go away" and you just carry on as acquaintances? Everything is so much harder. Its usually "what is wrong? why don't you communicate with me? Don't you care about the rest of us? Why are you so self absorbed?" Good God, just think about it, if you were in this kind of relationship with a guy you would kill yourself because they are soo clingy. Every one hates clingy people until they become them. Wouldn't it be nice to just answer "Well, I don't talk to you because you say nothing that is at all important to me and we have nothing even remotely in common other than some genetics."? Oh, wow, if only in a perfect world...Now, I understand that there are many people that come from very functional families that all get along and it is sunshine and rainbows all the time(...no...?) but for those of us who have problems with trying to make it through family events or occasions with out mass amounts of hard liquor or throwing yourself in front of a moving car, hopefully you can relate to what I have written and don't think that I am absolutely crazy.
By now you are probably thinking, " God, this girl is a serious cynic and has a strong hate for the world", but I promise that I actually do have some really amazing relationships. The best part of it all is that these are the relationships that I choose to have. These people are in my life because I picked them out of the universe (or maybe they picked me.. who knows) and thought they were important enough to be here. These are the people who matter and the ones that continue to make you either laugh, cry or inspire you in some way. These are the ones that greatly surmount the negativity in our lives. And these relationships are the ones that remind us the we are not alone no matter how alone we feel.
Even when we have noting we always have something- Friends
Chocolate and Poptarts (and friends),
Sarah
Have you ever seriously thought about relationships? Not just boyfriend/girlfriend stuff but the relationships you have in general? They are pretty interesting. Friendships are great, you meet a person and then through proper evaluation of common interests mixed with a very basic non verbal personality test you decide that you can either be friends or just acquaintances. So why is it that the relationships we have with our family have to be sooo much more difficult to have/maintain? Why can it be, "I really don't think we have very much in common, and you kinda piss me off. Go away" and you just carry on as acquaintances? Everything is so much harder. Its usually "what is wrong? why don't you communicate with me? Don't you care about the rest of us? Why are you so self absorbed?" Good God, just think about it, if you were in this kind of relationship with a guy you would kill yourself because they are soo clingy. Every one hates clingy people until they become them. Wouldn't it be nice to just answer "Well, I don't talk to you because you say nothing that is at all important to me and we have nothing even remotely in common other than some genetics."? Oh, wow, if only in a perfect world...Now, I understand that there are many people that come from very functional families that all get along and it is sunshine and rainbows all the time(...no...?) but for those of us who have problems with trying to make it through family events or occasions with out mass amounts of hard liquor or throwing yourself in front of a moving car, hopefully you can relate to what I have written and don't think that I am absolutely crazy.
By now you are probably thinking, " God, this girl is a serious cynic and has a strong hate for the world", but I promise that I actually do have some really amazing relationships. The best part of it all is that these are the relationships that I choose to have. These people are in my life because I picked them out of the universe (or maybe they picked me.. who knows) and thought they were important enough to be here. These are the people who matter and the ones that continue to make you either laugh, cry or inspire you in some way. These are the ones that greatly surmount the negativity in our lives. And these relationships are the ones that remind us the we are not alone no matter how alone we feel.
Even when we have noting we always have something- Friends
Chocolate and Poptarts (and friends),
Sarah
Sunday, August 26, 2012
My First Time
If you are reading this and
thinking that this is going to be some retelling of a steamy situation
in regards to young teen girl, then this is where the line ends. All you
a going to get out of this post is a short to moderate length summary
of my life thus far.
In short, I was raised by my hard working single mom and my "old school" grumpy grandpa.My mom and I have been through some pretty interesting things over the past 18 years of my life, but because of her I know that I can come out of anything if I just believe in myself. I know I know, cliched and stupid, but still very true.
Grandpa, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. We fight, we argue, we piss each other off and sometimes he makes me want to throw myself in front of large moving objects, but every now and then, he does something completely opposite and entirely frustrating - he will do something nice. Damn him, catching me off guard and making me not mad anymore.. Grumble.. All in all, he has his moments but I know that he actually cares.
In addition to the family I have spent my entire existence with we have added 3 more to this crazy grouping of people we call family. Dave is my moms boy friend of almost a year and he has 2 great kids, Kelly and Joey. Kelly has really become like my little sister over the course of this past 8 months or so and is the reason for which I am sharing my life with you. Joey is a very funny little dude and his main loves in life are Jack in the Box, super heroes and his grandma. Later on in life he plans to" work for Jack in the Box and to take care of Grandma" yes Joey, we will see how that all pans out...
Lastly, maybe most importantly, my cats. No, I am not some crazy cat lady who is going to live in some dank house with 87 cats and kinda sorta always smells like cat food and musk. No, I have two cleverly named kitties who are more loyal that any dog I have yet to meet. Spooky, and Oreo. Yes, I told you, cleverly named. I am sure that at some point you will read more about them, but that's far too much for now.
Anyways, I don't know how many of you out there actually care about my postings, but if you do thank you. I hope that I made you smile at least once.
Chocolate and Poptarts,
Sarah
In short, I was raised by my hard working single mom and my "old school" grumpy grandpa.My mom and I have been through some pretty interesting things over the past 18 years of my life, but because of her I know that I can come out of anything if I just believe in myself. I know I know, cliched and stupid, but still very true.
Grandpa, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. We fight, we argue, we piss each other off and sometimes he makes me want to throw myself in front of large moving objects, but every now and then, he does something completely opposite and entirely frustrating - he will do something nice. Damn him, catching me off guard and making me not mad anymore.. Grumble.. All in all, he has his moments but I know that he actually cares.
In addition to the family I have spent my entire existence with we have added 3 more to this crazy grouping of people we call family. Dave is my moms boy friend of almost a year and he has 2 great kids, Kelly and Joey. Kelly has really become like my little sister over the course of this past 8 months or so and is the reason for which I am sharing my life with you. Joey is a very funny little dude and his main loves in life are Jack in the Box, super heroes and his grandma. Later on in life he plans to" work for Jack in the Box and to take care of Grandma" yes Joey, we will see how that all pans out...
Lastly, maybe most importantly, my cats. No, I am not some crazy cat lady who is going to live in some dank house with 87 cats and kinda sorta always smells like cat food and musk. No, I have two cleverly named kitties who are more loyal that any dog I have yet to meet. Spooky, and Oreo. Yes, I told you, cleverly named. I am sure that at some point you will read more about them, but that's far too much for now.
Anyways, I don't know how many of you out there actually care about my postings, but if you do thank you. I hope that I made you smile at least once.
Chocolate and Poptarts,
Sarah
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